


Dear Hux

by tatezi



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Bad Ending, Blowjobs, Breakup Sex, Cats, Fighting, Hickies, Hux cries, M/M, Power Bottom, Rough Sex, Sadness, Silent Treatment, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Tears, a lot of crying, general sadness, just overall, kylo cries, like dont read this if youre lookin for a good time dog, like literally no lube, lol, oh boy, where to begin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-09 17:04:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8900572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatezi/pseuds/tatezi
Summary: Hux is a workaholic and hardly gives any of his time to his boyfriend. After a rough couple of months, Hux moves out of the house for a few days and returns at 2am to talk with Kylo. Kylo overthinks, blowjobs issue, and things get very sad





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to "You" by Keaton Henson for this, and I feel like it really fits, so for the full effect, I'd recommend listening to it on repeat for the entire duration :~)

Kylo got up from the couch after he heard a quick, two-note knock at his door. He grabbed the remote and paused what he was watching-- probably like how it’s made or something. He wasn’t interested in it, he was just trying to get his brain to stop thinking so much. Hux and his relationship hadn’t been going too well lately. After Hux graduated, he quickly started his own company which took off right away. He became so enthralled with business that Hux never payed attention to his boyfriend that often. Kylo always tried to bring it up to Hux, but whenever he did, Hux would get snappy with him and they'd end up fighting, so he never really got to bring it up fully.

 

After their last fight, Hux stayed with Phasma for a few days, never calling or texting Ren at all, leaving Kylo a tired, sleepless mess. The final night, Hux called him, sounding wide awake over the phone speaker.

 

“Ren, I’m sorry,” the ginger said after kylo mumbled a hello. Kylo rubbed a big hand over his face and looked at the clock on their bedside table; 2:15am.

 

“Hm? What for?” Kylo’s words slurred together as he tried to process who was calling.

 

“Have you been drinking Ren?” Hux’s voice clear monotone concern radiating through the phone. 

 

“No… just tired. How are you?” the muscular boy rolled over onto his back.

 

“Not very good, I left my laptop at the house.” Kylo chuckled at this and ran his fingers through his hair. 

 

“‘That why youre calling?” 

 

Hux paused for a moment, and Ren wondered if the phone connection had been disrupted.

 

“Hux?” the boy asked softly.

 

“Yeah, sorry, no, I just wanted to apologize, you know, about before?”

 

Kylo sighed and nodded, and then voiced his response aloud, “Yeah. Don’t sweat it, sorry for starting it.”

 

There was another pause as Hux thought, and then finally stated, “We should talk.”

 

“Aren’t we talking now?” Kylo smiled at his dumb joke.

 

Hux sighed, “No you doofus, like in person. Can I come over?”

 

“Hux, it’s your house too, you can come over whenever you want.” Kylo said sleepily, sitting up and resting his feet on the ground, deciding it's probably best if he put on pants.

 

“Be over in a bit,” Hux said softly. Kylo hummed and then ended the call, getting onto his feet finally.

 

As Kylo slowly started to wake up, he started to overthink some things. Huz didn’t say he was coming back over to stay, he said that he was coming over to talk; why would he come over to talk at 2 in the morning? And if he already apologized, what else was there to talk about? He obviously wasn’t going to talk about his work schedule, because Kylo had barely even began to dip his toes in the ocean of arguments and complaints he had about it. Maybe Hux was coming over to talk about why Kylo was so upset? Not likely; Hux moves to the beat of his own drum, why would he tempt Kylo with the thought of working their problems out when Hux was going to do what he wanted anyways. 

 

This made Kylo very anxious, and as he kept thinking and analyzing and thinking about it, the more he wanted to vomit. Was it his time to be ditched? Before he got serious with Hux, Hux couldn’t keep a relationship for more than a few months, and not that they’ve been dating for 3 years, Hux was long overdue for a new significant other. But didn’t Hux love him?

 

Kylo put on the TV, trying to get himself to stop thinking because he knew Hux loved him, and when Hux came walking in they’d work everything out. Kylo couldn’t help getting a little teary-eyed. Maybe Hux didn’t love him anymore, maybe thats why he was working so much? To get away from Ren? Maybe it’s just a fact that there’s always one person in a relationship that loves the other more than the other loves them. Maybe Hux stopped loving him years ago.  
There was a knock at the door. Kylo stood up, blood rushing to his head as he got dizzy. It’s okay Kylo, deep breaths. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, don’t worry, it’s fine, it's fine! He reached for the door lock and began to turn it. Deep breaths deep breaths. He opened the door.  
Hux looked back at him, it’s obvious that he had been crying as well, the red patches showed up on his face like spots on a white cat. Well, Kylo thought, At least if he doesn’t love me I know he cares about me just a little. 

 

“Hey,” Hux said, his voice strong and unwavering. Kylo reached out after a few seconds and hugged him. 

 

“Hi,” he said stiffly back. Hux took a deep breath and hugged him back. They both stood there, hugging each other as close as their clothing would allow, in the dark of their house which they had long since paid off the mortgage of. Since they weren’t married, Hux technically owned the house, along with the bed, the couch, the TV, and the coffee maker. Kylo may have a job slightly better than minimum wage, but he wouldn’t be able to live on his own, sure he might be able to afford something on the lower end of houses by himself, but he couldn’t live on his own. Probably have the move in with his parents.

 

“How’s Phasma?” Kylo asked, pulling away slightly from the hug to look back at Hux. 

 

“Good, she’s still training to get into the Army, doing well.” Kylo smiled and nodded, Phasma had been close to him back in college before she dropped out to begin training for boot camp. 

 

“Nice, tell her I said I’m rooting for her,” Hux smiled and nodded and looked down at his feet. 

 

Kylo gestured to the living room, “Wanna sit down?” Hux nodded and followed him to the couch, a step behind the taller man. Kylo sat down at the end of the couch, knees turned in the direction of hux in a conversational way.

“So, you wanted to talk?” said Kylo in a voice that he couldn’t help be a little shaky. 

 

Hux nodded and looked down at the TV that was still paused. He took a deep breath and looked up at Kylo.  
“Do you ever wish that we were back in college?” 

Kylo leaned back onto the armrest and nodded, “Yeah, all the time.” He looked at the way hux’s hair shifted over his temples as he bit at his cheek, the way the freckles on his neck shifted when his swallowed, how his fingers picked at the dry skin on his thumbs. Over the past 5 years of knowing Hux, he realized that though he is holy, he is also the most human human being in all of humanity; his personality smooth and calculated but not perfect. His ideas well thought out but when worried his voice still quivered like anyone else’s. 

 

“Kylo, I love you. I want you to know that every moment we’ve spent together in the last 4 years I cherish and replay in my head during the days where stress gets the better of me. You are everything to me and I don’t think I could ever love a man more then I have loved you.” Kylo knew what came next. This wasn’t a speech that opened the gates to recovery, singing in the new refurbished love that the couple talked over and planned out. This was a goodbye speech.  
Kylo reached out and carded his fingers through his love’s soft red locks, hux giving out a shaky exhale as his green eyes pierced through Ren’s brown ones. He shifted his head to the side as Kylo’s large palm stroked the pale skin behind Hux’s ear. The muscular boy rested his thumb on Hux’s chin and guided his face up, kissing him softly on the lips.

 

Hux closed the space between them and folded his arms over Kylo’s broad shoulders. Hux kisses him slowly, softly, a whisper of apology, and Kylo accepted it and kissed back harder, lovingly and passionately, kissing the man who he had loved for so long, still loved and cherished. 

 

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to end, Hux.” Hux smiled sadly and looked up at Ren, his soft boyish face and his brown puppydog eyes. He tucked a clump of hair behind Ren’s ear. “We were supposed to get married and get a cat, and I’d wake up after you went to work and feed it, and maybe some day we’d adopt some kids and start a family.”

 

“Kylo… I can’t settle down yet,” Kylo bowed his head and then looked down at hux’s hands that were still clutched in his lap. “We met at the wrong time in each other's lives.” 

 

Kylo looked up, slightly angry now, “Then why did you let me love you for so long. Hux, if you weren’t going to settle down, then why did we buy a house, why did we get a car and why did you waist 3 years of your life one me?” 

 

Hux took a deep breath and then smiled bitterly, “Because I love you Kylo.” A tear fell from his eye and he shook his head and wiped it away.

 

“Then why can’t we make it work? Why does it have to end here? I love you so go damn much Hux, we can make this work, I can be okay with seeing you not so often and you can work and it’ll be okay.” Kylo cupped Hux’s face in his hands and smiled at him hopefully, knowing it wouldn’t work but he sure as hell could try.

 

“Ren, I know you’re unhappy, but we both know I’m not changing any time soon and I don’t want you to change for me,” Ren slid one hand down Hux’s neck and began leaving kisses on the skin there, “You deserve someone less maintenance, someone who can spend more time with you.” Kylo’s free hand slid up hux’s shirt, making the pale man shiver.

 

“You can take the house if you’d like, you payed for half of it anyways, I don’t mind,” Kylo began sucked at Hux’s collar bone, hardly listening anymore. He’d got his point across; there was no going back. Hux shuddered started to wrap his legs around his ex’s waist, cold feet resting on his back. 

 

Kylo moved down, talking off Hux’s t-shirt in a single sweep laying the smaller man down underneath him. He moved down, sucking small marks into Hux’s pale skin, and then finally catching a stiff nipple in his mouth. Hux gasped, looking up at the ceiling above him. Ren worked his tongue over the pink flesh, massaging his thumb ever so slightly under the elastic of the ginger’s boxers. 

 

Hux’s breath rougher as kylo moved his mouth to the other nipple, and then as he dragged his tongue down to the hem of Hux’s pants. Ren’s thick fingers worked fast at undoing Hux’s button and zipper, and they both worked frantically at pulling down the smaller man’s pants. 

 

“Kylo…” Hux whispered as the man in question licked a small trail down to the other’s thighs. 

 

“Gorgeous, gorgeous thighs,” and he began to lick and suck at the pale man’s soft skin, trying to leave as many dark marks as he could so he would remember Kylo being there for days. Hux ran his hand through Kylo’s long hair and arched his back, trying his best to keep quiet. He nibbled and sucked up Hux’s length and finally met with his painfully hard cock. Ren looked up at the other man as he began to rub on his shaft, leaving kisses on his balls and base. Hux looked down at Kylo, he was going to really miss this-- seeing his boyfriend at his command, sucking him off and loving every moment of it.

 

Ren looked back down at the task at hand and kissed the tip of hux’s red cock, and then slowly inching his mouth down the hard shaft. Kylo remembered how Hux had taught him to do so, working diligently to get rid of his gag reflex so Ren could please the other. Kylo’s thick lips pressed up against Hux’s cleanly-kept pubes, taking a deep breath and started bobbing his head up and down, making the other man’s dick fuck down his throat, no tears coming into his eyes after the many times he had done so. Hux finally couldn’t keep quiet anymore, and let out out a deep open mouthed moan, a hand flying to kylos cheek, caressing him as pleasure bloomed through his being, like roses in spring, opening up beautifully. Now knowing that he was doing alright, Kylo moaned back, breathing heavily onto the sensitive skin of the gingers lower abdomen. Hux gasped, clenching his fists as he groaned and moaned. 

 

“Kylo, I’m… I’m not going to last much l-longer,” Hux breathed out, thrusting up into the other’s hot mouth. Kylo looked up at the mess he had created, and pulled off with a moan. Hux shivered as his sensitive dick was exposed to the cold air. 

 

Ren sat on his haunches as he began pulling off Hux’s pants, and then finally unbuttoning his own pants. Though in their household was home to many plethora of lube bottles, the kind of sex that they were having tonight involved none of it. Kylo wanted Hux to not be able to walk for the next few days, and to think of him whenever he sat down for the next week. Hux looked up at Kylo as he pulled his thick cock out of his boxers and gave it a few pumps, making eye contact as his mouth hung open. Hux whimpered, his thighs rubbing together to try and get some friction, knowing well that he couldn’t touch himself; that was Ren’s job.

 

“You want this?” Kylo said, hand rubbing base to tip on his own dick. Hux nodded and blushed heavily.

 

“What was that? I don’t think I heard you. I asked you if you wanted to be fucked senseless by my giant cock.” 

 

Hux moaned wantonly and whimpered out, “Yes, please Kylo, please I want you so much, please, I… ahh... I already stretched myself a bit. I was thinking about you earlier,” Kylo bit his lip and pulled Hux closer to him by his thighs. The bigger man lined up his dick to Hux’s hole and bent down to kiss him on the jaw. 

 

Without a single warning, kylo thrusted into hux, making the other bite his lip, tearing up a little bit at the pain. Kylo kisses down to the other’s ear and started to suck on his earlobe as he found a steady rhythm.

 

Hux cries out, a mess, borderline sobbing, “Kylo, f-fu-fuck, oh-ohmygo-- KYLO, OH J-JESUS FUCK… aaahhhhhh.” Hux grips his fingers harder into kylos hair, making Kylo moan low and loud. 

 

“I. Hate. You. So. Much,” Kylo emphasized with a hard thrust, hitting Hux’s prostate each time. Hux’s voice finally gave out, and now his body just twitched and shivered as kylo kept painfully thrusting into him. 

 

Kylo took a deep shuddering breath, and tearfully came deep inside of Hux’s ass. Hux twitched and shuddered, and emptied his biggest load in years onto Kylo and his stomach. Ren sat up, still inside of Hux, and ran his hand through his own hair, tears running down his moled up cheeks. Small sobs and hiccuping breaths escaped him as he pulled out and got up, escaping into the bathroom to clean himself off. Hux barely had the senses to process this, and even if he could, he could not physically move.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo turned on the shower as hot as their water heater would allow and got in, sitting down and curling into the fetal position. He ran his fingers through his hair, sobbing out words that almost made sense but ended up just coming out as noises. 

 

Hux had single handedly built and dismantled his life, starting the moment Ren and first laid eyes on him, and now it would end the last time Ren saw him. Ren couldn’t go back home, not now. He knew what would happen if he went back home to his mom and dad; he’d lose his job, end up being that weird anti social kid that his mom advertised to her coworkers children, practically begging them to take him of her hands. He couldn’t be a burden on his parents, he couldn’t be a burden on anyone anymore. 

 

Kylo stood up, turned off the water, and got out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel as he walked to the bedroom, not wasting any time. Ren reached into his desk and pulled out a paper and pen, and got to work.

 

It was 5am when a tuna fisherman pulled a body out of the water. Pale skin turned paler by the freezing ocean waters. Police immediately notified Hux, because after running a quick check on the license plate on the car abandoned by the bridge, it was pulled up that Hux was the owner of it. Hux halted production, stopped everything, stopped thinking, shut down. He did this. He made him do it. If he had just, tried harder, tried to make things work, his boyfriend, his Kylo, would still be here with him.

 

~~~

 

Dear Hux,

I’m not coming back tonight. The last years that I have spent with you have been the best years of my life. I have decided that my only way out is what I’m about to. Tell my mom and dad that I love them. I trust you to deliver the message to them. I want you to have my money, my belongings, and if you must, sell them. I want you to take a vacation for awhile, you deserve it. Use some of the other money to buy yourself a cat. I hope you find someone who’s right for you when you’re ready to settle down; I’m not trying to be passive aggressive about it, I really mean it. You deserve to be happy. 

~Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that was a doozy! hope you guys liked it!
> 
> follow me on tumblr at kooli, or twitter at huffyypuffy :~)

**Author's Note:**

> That was a real doozy. My girlfriend and I were just messing around in google docs; she was trying to write a hamlet fic but was getting nothing done so I started writing this one. Ill post the next chapter next week ;)


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